What Living Alone Has Taught Me About God, Love, and Loneliness

The start of the new semester brought an unexpected turn of events in my life. I came back from Christmas break, energized and excited to tackle a new semester of classes and adventures, continuing to grow in relationship with friends and classmates. But God had other plans in mind. Beautiful plans that would lead to some difficult transitions.

A few days before classes started, my roommate texted me to tell me that she had decided to transfer to another school. It was a difficult decision for her to make, but she knew in her heart that transferring was the right thing to do. I am so proud of her for following God's call and pursuing His plan for her life, but I would be remiss not to say how difficult it has been to carry on in the midst of her absence. I went from spending every day studying, laughing, and sharing life with my best friend to living alone in my dorm room, trying desperately not to let loneliness get the better of me.

And yet, as challenging as these last few weeks have been, I cannot help but feel that THIS is what God intended all along. Yes, it was unexpected and yes, it has been difficult for me to reconcile with. But I have been blessed in such incredible ways these past few weeks and I feel as if this time living alone is a beautiful season of preparation, learning, and spiritual growth.

I don't know where you are at, dear sister, but if you feel lonely or if your heart has been broken... I offer these words of wisdom and encouragement. I am still learning myself, but here are just a few of the things that living alone has taught me about God, love, and loneliness:

1). Whenever you feel lonely, rest in the knowledge that you are NOT alone. No one is EVER completely on their own in this life... even if you haven't been able to find that amazing friend group that your heart has always longed for. No matter who you are or what your relationships look like, you will always have a best friend in Jesus Christ. Whenever you feel like you don't have a friend in the world, that means it's time to spend some one-on-one time with Christ. Dust that Bible off, reach for that devotional your parents gave you for Christmas, and simply soak in His words of wisdom and comfort. Allow Him to advise you, just like you would seek advice from a close friend. Open yourself to conversation with Him... Your words don't have to be perfect or eloquent. Tell Him what's on your heart and I guarantee that the hole in your heart where loneliness resides will fill to overflowing.

2). Love others, but don't forget to love yourself. Relationships are so incredibly important. Learning to love another human being, whether they be a friend, significant other, parent, or complete stranger is a beautiful thing. Jesus says to "love your neighbor as yourself" for that very reason. But if you're anything like me, when you read that verse your focus is automatically on the concept of "loving your neighbor." What about the second half of that verse: "as yourself?" When was the last time you remembered to love yourself? Not your friend or your boyfriend or your mom or your cousin. Yourself. How can we possibly follow Jesus's teaching to "love your neighbor as yourself" if we don't fall in love with ourselves to begin with? A few days after my roommate left, I spoke with my RA about how difficult it was for me to be living on my own. One of the things she encouraged me to do was to go on "self-dates." Whether that means going for a walk on the local nature trail, taking myself to the movies, or studying at a coffee shop, learning what it means to spend time in solitude has really helped me to fall in love with myself. I am beginning to gain a greater appreciation for the woman God created me to be and the more I get to know myself, the better prepared I feel to tackle new relationships. In fact, spending time in solitude has helped me to realize that I don't need other people to fulfill me or make me happy, because I have discovered some of that joy on my own.

3). Being alone is not a curse. It is not a disease and it is not a sign of weakness. Our culture has turned the word "alone" into an extremely negative term. We think that being alone says something about our worth as human beings and let me tell you, sister: that is an outright lie. If you are the girl that spends Friday nights at home curled up with a good book and a cup of tea, good for you. If you are the girl that chooses to take time to care for herself instead of constantly running to social events, more power to ya. Being alone does not mean that you are unlovable or that you are incapable of being in relationship. Solitude is a gift that not all of us have mastered. By making a conscious choice to experience that gift, you are choosing to spend time with the two most important people in your life: the woman that you are created to be and the Creator that gave you life and purpose.

So if you are feeling lonely, friendless, or unworthy of love, remember that you are SO worth loving. Use this season of solitude to form a stronger relationship with yourself and the God who made you. Fall in love with God's plan for your life and learn to love every crook and cranny of your being. Find joy in your own soul. And finally, pray that God will open doors to new and exciting relationships in the future.

#faith #love #loneliness #relationships #selfcare